In The Garden
He told me in a dream that looked just like this-
“Do what You love. “ And I responded, (so excitedly and enthusiastically) That’s it, that’s all I have to do? So paint? Then the dream ended.
I had that dream yrs ago and I just barely told Levi about it. Levi said in response, You do everything You love, so I think you’re doing exactly what the Lord said. He then started naming things I loved and I melted, he said the kids the house.. And all kinds of things he notices.. He made me blush. I haven’t stopped thinking about that conversation.. At times these things have also been the hardest for me.. And even the most lonely. There’s been times I thought, okay Heavenly Father what are you doing? I’m fully giving you my all and this just hurts and its so so hard.. I think the opposite should surely be happening. But something came full circle for me when I was talking with Levi.. The days pass and pass and I repeat the same chores and daily tasks but Im also constantly praying. Somewhere along the way my prayers turned into conversations and even moments of good news to share with my Savior.. I picture him laughing happily at some things and knowing all the intentions of my heart. Without knowing so, I’ve leaned to the Savior because really, in this life, there’s no other way.. And I can truly say, this road has been so beautiful.. I do love all Im doing, the dishes are so gross- but not when I think of Ellis and Emmy at the table telling me all the details of their days and their precious happy eyes dancing with excitement to tell me all the things big little hard tough ugly loud soft and beautiful..
So let it be on repeat, day in and day out.. Let it change you and mold you. Let the clothes pile up and when you sort and see that brand new sweeter with stains you just got your boy.. Ask what the story is. Lets that moment be a moment for your boy too to see you just want to hear about his day a moment you wouldn’t of asked other wise without that stain. Let it be seemingly hard because right then is when you are about to see the most beautiful things the Lord has in store for you. Do the hard because the hard is what you love. Do what you love.
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